A Shepard's Tale
by Kyria Nyriese
Summary: OK This is an AU fic, taking place from BAaT through the games. It has two Shepards, brother and sister, Keira is the oldest and she was at BAaT, John is the younger and was on Mindoir when it was attacked. Eventual Shenko, though it's a ways in. Sorry
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: This fic is an AU fic with John Shepard, canon Shepard born in 2154, and his older sister Keira Shepard, she is 2.5 years older than John. John is a soldier, Keira a Vanguard. John – Colonist/Ruthless, Keira Colonist/Sole Survivor, and Keira was sent to BAaT in 2166, she is the only biotic in the family. Story will take place from 2166 through the events of the Mass Effect games; I will try not to run to many direct dialogs from the game.**_

Keira Shepard sat quietly in the lounge of the intake for BAaT, having just arrived on a shuttle from Arcturus Station. The trip had been very long, and it felt like she hadn't slept since leaving Mindoir, already she missed her parents and siblings, especially her brother John. It seemed sometimes that he was the only member of their family who accepted her as she was, everyone else in the family seemed to see her as something to be pitied, but never loved. No way that a child of Jack and Hannah Shepard's could be a biotic. So here she was, waiting to complete the in processing for the Biotics Acclimation and Training program. It had seemed like her parents couldn't get rid of her fast enough.

Kaidan came out of the docking tube on Gagarin Station, Jump Zero, glancing around and seeing who all was around the room. Even though his father had been Alliance, Kaidan had never been off of Earth, his parents had seen him as far as Luna Station, wanting to see him all the way but they men had said they couldn't, so here he was, so far away from home, and all alone. A tall woman with blonde hair came in through a door at the back of room Kaidan was standing in. "Have a seat young man; we will get you processed as soon as possible."

Kaidan gave the room a second glance around, seeing several kids his age sitting around the room, this is a small girl that looked of Eastern European descent sitting with a group of kids around her, all of them talking together. _Probably came in together,_ he thinks. Turning his head, he spots another girl sitting by herself along the edge of the room, she isn't as pretty as the other girl. However, like he is, she seems to be here alone. Kaidan notices the red of her hair color and the soft tan covering her skin indicating Earthborn or from one of the Colonies, making a decision he turns and walks over to the girl.

Keira glances up as someone approaches her, meeting caramel brown eyes set into a strong face framed with black hair. "Uh hi," she muttered, turning her attention back to her lap.

Kaidan shook his head, "Mind if I sit here," he asked.

Keira shook her head, indicating the vacant seat with her hand.

Kaidan settled down in the seat, glancing over the girl again. "I'm Kaidan," he said, extending his hand.

Keira looked over at the boy, "Uh, Keira," she said quietly, taking the proffered hand and shaking it quickly before returning her hand to her lap.

Kaidan set back in the chair, watching the other group of kids, while he had plenty of friends back home, he wasn't really one for large groups, at least not if he didn't know anyone, though the petite girl in the middle of the group seemed to capture his attention.

Keira noticed Kaidan's gaze on the group across, "Her name's Rahna, she's from Turkey," she told him.

Kaidan glanced back over at Keira, "Oh, how…"

Keira smiled, "She came on board at Arcturus, so I watched that little group for the last leg of my trip. She seems really nice," Keira explained.

Kaidan nodded, "Thanks," he said quietly. "So where did you come in from," he asked.

Keira sighed, "Mindoir, guess it could be worse, I could still be there," she replied.

Kaidan arched an eyebrow. "Why would you not want to be there," he asked.

Keira turned her head to look at the boy, "Let me guess, you're parents are ok with your biotics?"

Kaidan nodded, realizing where the girl was going. "You're family doesn't," he stated.

Keira nodded, "Yeah, only my brother John ever accepted me, now he's still on Mindoir and I'm here. I miss him," she said sadly.

Kaidan went quiet for several minutes, before trying to talk to her again. "I'm from Vancouver," he told her.

Keira glanced over at Kaidan, "I have never been to Earth, this is probably the closest I've been," she replied. "Do you miss your family?"

Kaidan nodded, "Yeah, my dad retired from the Alliance not long after I was born, so both of them have been a part of my life. They were with me until Luna, then the guys from Conatix wouldn't let them come any further with me," he explained.

Keira turned her attention back to the group in the middle of the room, "I wonder why this had to happen to any of us," she muttered softly.

The door to the right of them opened, "Keira Shepard," a man called sharply.

Keira glanced up, "Well that's me, I guess I'll see you on the other side Kaidan."

Kaidan nodded, "Yeah, I guess we will," he replied.

It was three months before Kaidan saw Keira again, the girls and boys had been separated, followed by a separation by age groups, also they were grouped by implant, Kaidan having been one of the first to receive his. The nosebleeds were a nuisance, but the headaches had quickly become close to debilitating. It had taken almost two months for the doctors to find a treatment regimen for him to combat the migraines.

It was when everyone had been brought into the main audience chambers, to meet the newest instructor to the program, that he saw the red head again. He glanced over at Rahna who was standing near Mark, "I'll be right back," he told his friends, walking away to where Keira was sitting. "Hey Keira," he said, settling down into the seat next to her.

"Kaidan," she replied as way of greeting.

Kaidan noticed something about her, "Everything alright Keira?"

Keira nodded, "Couple of the kids in my group washed out last week," she told him. "Chris, well it wasn't pretty when they took him out," she said with a shudder.

Kaidan laid his hand on her arm, "I'm sorry, we've had a few of those as well," he said to her, his voice quiet with sympathy.

"Hey Alenko, what are you doing with the Colonial, get over here so we can all get settled," Mark shouted across the room.

Keira frowned, "Your friends are calling you," she told him.

Kaidan glanced over at Mark, "Yeah, listen if you want to talk…"

Keira smiled bitterly, "Thanks," she replied shortly.

Kaidan stood, his eyes going from his group of friends to Keira and back again. "Hey why don't you come sit with us," he finally said.

Keira gave Kaidan a look of disbelief, "I don't think your friends will like having a 'colonial' around," she responded darkly.

Kaidan gave a short chuckle, "Yeah well they'll get over it, come on," he insisted, slipping his hand under her arm to pull her up. "You can't stay alone around here, you need friends," he told her as he pulled her toward his group of friends.

Keira reluctantly followed Kaidan across the room, keeping her eyes on the tall boy as they moved. She flinched when the boy who had shouted spoke up.

"What the hell Alenko, why you bringing colonial over here," he said angrily.

Kaidan opened his mouth to respond but was beat to it by the petite girl in the middle of the group. "Mark we are all here for the same reason, there is no reason to act like that with her," she told the boy, her hand on his arm, "I'm Rahna," the girl said with a smile extending her hand.

Keira took the hand, "Uh Keira," she replied.

Everyone turned when there was a loud noise at the podium. "Sit down, you lot lack discipline," a Turian said snarling at the groups of students standing around talking. "I am Commander Vyrnnus and I was at the helm of the dreadnaught that killed your father," he told the group.

Kaidan frowned, "My father was retired before the war," he said quietly.

Apparently not quietly enough, "Really, the he was luckier than you will be," came the snapped reply from Vyrnnus.

Keira frowned, she knew about the Alliance and the First Contact War, her parents had been newlyweds when the war happened, and they had been planning to move to Shanxi before the attack. When the opportunity to move to Mindoir came up after the war, they had gone that direction instead, further away from Earth, and hopefully safer. The thought made her wonder why Conatix had brought in a Turian instructor, especially one who had served in the First Contact War.

Kaidan glanced around the classroom, smiling shyly in the direction of Rahna. He jumped when Keira elbowed him. "What'd you do that for?"

Keira laughed, "Your tongue falls any further out of your mouth, you're gonna trip on it," she said with a chuckle.

Kaidan blushed, "I don't know what you are talking about."

Keira nodded, "uh huh, you just stick to that story there Kaidan," she replied, nudging him with an elbow again.

They had been at Jump Zero close to a year now, Keira had run into issues with her amp when she first arrived, which should have put her behind the rest of the group, however, she had managed to catch up relatively quickly and could now do pretty much the same things the rest of them could do, and had integrated herself into their little group pretty well over the past few months, though she could mostly be found around Kaidan and Rahna, sometimes it was a wonder to figure out if they three of them weren't siblings the way they acted around each other, or at least the way Keira acted. Kaidan, who was usually quite boisterous around his other friends, including Keira, tended to be quiet around Rahna. Keira thought it was hilarious to give him a hard time about.

Commander Vyrnnus commanded everyone's attention when he stepped into the room. "Alright people today we are going to do something simple, so that any of you can do it."

Keira sighed, that meant they were all in for a world of hurt, "This is going to be fun," she whispered to Kaidan.

Kaidan nodded darkly, "Yeah," he replied in agreement.

"Since the two of you have decided to exclude the rest of us from your lovely conversation, you can come up here and give a demonstration of what we are doing today," Vyrnnus said sharply, his eyes firmly on Kaidan.

_Fuck_, Keira thought darkly. She and Kaidan stood up and moved toward the front of the room, not getting ten steps before they were both bowled back by a Shockwave and slammed into the wall behind them. Keira stood up, anger simmering beneath the surface, she started forward when she felt Kaidan's hand on her arm, she glanced over and he shook his head.

Vyrnnus watched the two closely, "Afraid your girlfriend will get hurt Alenko, you going to protect her," he said, trying to rile up the young biotics.

Vyrnnus watched the two students, they were the strongest in this group, maybe in all the groups, it was just a matter of getting them to put the effort into it. He knew he could make those two into something very powerful, with the right motivations. It never took much to rile Shepard, but Alenko was always there to calm her back down, Vyrnnus needed to find a way to rile Alenko, then he'd figured he'd see something out of both of them. If they died, so be it, but Vyrnnus didn't think it would come to that.

Kaidan walked into the girls dormitory, glancing around he saw Keira sitting at a desk near her bunk, looking around once more, he shrugged when he saw that Rahna was nowhere in residence at the moment, so he walked over to Keira. "Hey," he said by way of greeting.

Keira glanced up from the book she was reading, "Kaidan," she replied lightly.

Kaidan pulled a chair over and sat at the end of the desk. "You know Keira, you really need to stop letting Vyrnnus get to you," he told her quietly.

Keira put the book down, and turned her attention to her best friend. "Kaidan, he's just going to keep doing this shit until we either wash out like Steven and Geoff, or we die like Marcus. So yeah I'll keep letting him get to me, and eventually you'll see it to and quit holding me back on it," she replied, the agitation visible on her face.

Kaidan let out a sigh, "Keira, the only thing losing it with Vyrnnus is going to get you is as dead as Marcus," he said, his voice sad. "I don't want to see you like Marcus."

Keira ran a hand through her short hair, still growing out from the surgery for her implants. "Kaidan…" she began softly.

"No Keira, you have to stop trying to go after him at every turn, for two years I have watched you get angrier and angrier with him every time he does something, he's trying to make you go after him, he's trying to break you."

Keira closed her eyes, "I know Kaid… I just…"

Kaidan reached out and took her hand, the static shock something they were both used to now, "Keira, you're my best friend, I would be lost without you around, so please, try to ignore the shit he does," he asked quietly, his voice still sad.

Behind her eyes, Keira could still see Marcus on the floor of the training room, blood running from his nose and ears, his eyes glassy and sightless. She remembered the look on Vyrnnus' face when he walked over to the body, one of absolute disgust. _"You fail you die, that is the way of life," _he had said harshly.

"I can't let it go Kaidan, he pushed all of them to the breaking point and beyond, he wants us to break or fail, and I refuse to either. If it kills me then so be it."

Kaidan looked down at his lap, "Good luck then Keira," he replied the sadness in his voice almost heart rending. "I think we shouldn't hang out so much."

Keira's eyes shot open, meeting Kaidan's. "What? Why? Kaidan…" she stuttered.

Kaidan stood up, his hand light on her shoulder, "If you're determined to let Vyrnnus kill you, then I need to back away, I'm sorry."

Keira watched as Kaidan turned and walked away, her heart pounding in her chest. She didn't notice the tears running down her face as he left the dormitory.

They had been told to gather in a group in the cafeteria that morning, Keira hadn't seen or talked to Kaidan in almost a week, and she missed her friend. Instead Mark had latched on to her with Kaidan gone. He had kind of become her rock in the storm that was going on in her mind and her heart. She saw Kaidan walk in next to Rahna, she saw him glance around, meeting her eyes for a moment before going on around the room to see who was there. He and Rahna moved to the opposite side of the room from where Keira and Mark were. Keira put her head down on the table, fighting tears again.

Mark watched Kaidan, he wasn't happy with the way his friend had treated Keira, in fact he wanted to slap him upside the head for not seeing what he had in the girl. She was very pretty, her red hair now short, cut in A-bob, with her bangs lightly swept to the side, her green eyes were fathomless. Of course thinking about it, she was just as unaware of Mark as Kaidan was of her. Sighing, Mark put a hand on her arm, "Keira, he'll come around."

Keira looked up, "I don't think so Mark," she whispered.

Vyrnnus came in to the cafeteria at that time, looking around the room. "I want everyone to break up into pairs; we are going to work on control today. No one leaves this room until everyone has mastered this lesson, am I clear."

Most of the students nodded, Keira just glared, she had a bad feeling about this day from the time she woke up, now it was getting worse.

"Alright all of you go and get a glass of water and sit back down. You are not to drink any of it; if you do you will be punished."

Keira and Mark were closest to the fountain and had theirs before anyone else, and settled down into their chairs the glasses sitting on the table between them.

Vyrnnus nodded as everyone sat down. "Now you are going to move the glass of water with your biotics, if you drop the glass or spill any water out of it you fail and you will start over. Once you are able to move the glass without dropping it or spilling any of it, you will be allowed to drink it, until then, you don't get anything."

Mark and Keira looked at each other, they both knew this was not going to be a pleasant day, as some of the kids in their group didn't have much in the way of control, certainly not this amount of control.

Vyrnnus nodded once more, "This lesson begins now."

Keira and Mark were able to move their glasses around without much effort, though Mark had spilled the water from his a couple times trying to use his biotics to balance the glass while it was in the air. Keira kept her glass in the air for a long period of time, watching and waiting for Mark to accomplish the feat. The students were in the cafeteria for hours, most still trying to do the lesson without at least spilling some of the water. Keira glanced over to where Kaidan was sitting with Rahna, he had his glass in the air much like her own, but Rahna was having trouble getting hers to balance, more trouble than Mark had had. Keira watched as Rahna's glass spilled a couple of times, each time, Kaidan getting up and getting her more water, and using a towel to clean up the mess.

Kaidan sat next to Rahna, quietly talking to her, encouraging her in the lesson, trying to keep her spirits up when the glass dumped over again for the umpteenth time. He once again got up, grabbing the glass and putting more water in it, before drying the table and sitting it down. "I know this isn't your strength Rahna, I know it's hard just concentrate on the glass, make your biotic field like a table underneath it," he whispered softly.

Rahna looked at Kaidan so sadly, "I can't Kaidan, I'm so thirsty," she said quietly, reaching out for the glass on the table.

Vyrnnus took that moment to turn around, "I said biotics only," he yelled, grabbing Rahna's arm, pulling it behind her and snapping the bone.

Keira heard the commotion behind her, and turned, just in time to see Vyrnnus break Rahna's arm, her biotics flared with her temper, but Mark grabbed her. "He'll just kill you," he whispered harshly to her.

Kaidan saw Vyrnnus break Rahna's arm, and his patience snapped in that second, and he saw red, he finally understood everything Keira had been trying to tell him, and he jumped at Vyrnnus, "Get the hell away from her you monster," he cried, slamming into his back.

Vyrnnus laughed, slamming Kaidan back into a wall, "We should have bombed humanity back into the stone age," he snarled, pulling a knife from his boot.

Kaidan shook his head trying to clear it when Vyrnnus was on him, Talon in his face, "I'll start with you," he told the young biotic.

Kaidan felt his biotics surge through him and kicked Vyrnnus right in the face, breaking one of his mandibles as the Turian went flying across the room, landing against the far wall with a sickening snap.

Keira struggled in Mark's grip, "He's going to kill Kaidan," she snapped at her friend.

Mark held tight to Keira's arms, pinning her to her chair, "If you go to help him he'll kill you too," he told her sharply.

Before Keira could respond there was another loud slam, as she saw Vyrnnus hit the wall near where she was with Mark. Glancing over she saw Kaidan struggling to stand, she nodded to Mark who went over to where Rahna was crying and Keira made her way to Kaidan. "I'm so sorry," she whispered as she helped him up.

Kaidan glanced at his friend and smiled, "So am I," he replied, turning and walking over to where Rahna lay on the floor crying, when he knelt down next to her, she screamed, trying to get away from. "Rahna?"

Keira saw the absolute fear in Rahna's eyes, it was the same look she had always given Vyrnnus, Keira stepped between the two of them, "Rahna it's Kaidan, he would never hurt you," she told the girl. Rahna shook her head, still trying to get further away from Kaidan.

Kaidan watched in horror as the events finally penetrated everything, glancing across the room where a medical team had come in and were working on Vyrnnus while another team was moving across to Rahna, it was a mere moments before the room was cleared of everyone but Kaidan, Keira and Mark. "What have I done," Kaidan whispered.

Keira turned and put an arm over Kaidan's shoulders, "What you had to Kaidan," she told her friend softly. "Rahna will understand when the shock of it all wears off."

Kaidan nodded, "Yeah," he said in a quiet voice. He turned and walked out of the room leaving Mark and Keira standing there.

It has almost been a year since Vyrnnus had been killed, a year since Rahna had spoken to him. Kaidan made his way to the shuttle heading back to Earth; he glanced over and saw Keira standing off to the side so he walked over to her. "Thank you," he whispered.

Keira hugged him, "What for?" she asked.

Kaidan looked at her closely, "For being here," he whispered before he turned and walked away.

Keira watched as Kaidan got on the shuttle, watching as students continued moving toward the shuttle. She was headed to Arcturus, she had contacted a recruiter after comms had been opened, and she would be joining the Alliance as soon as she turned eighteen, which though still almost a year away, she was looking forward to. The recruiter had told her she could work with some of the prep groups on Arcturus and that he would find a family for her to live with for the next year. So she was lost in thought when Rahna walked up to her.

Rahna approached Keira, "I just wanted…" she began, her words cut off by the sound of a sharp slap, her hand immediately going to her cheek. "Why…" she asked, tears streaming down her face.

Keira glared at the girl, "He loved you, you were everything he could think about, he protected you and what did you give him for his trouble? You ran away from him, 'oh poor little Rahna so scared of the big bad biotic that killed Vyrnnus'. If for no other reason than to have saved Kaidan the heartache of it, the fear, and the loss of whom he thought he was, I wish I had killed Vyrnnus years ago," she snarled at the younger girl, turning around and stomping off to her own shuttle.


	2. Chapter 2

John Shepard was the exact opposite of his sister Keira, standing at just over 6'2" tall and weighing in at just under 200lbs, with dark brown hair and pale blue eyes, compared to his sister's petite 5'2" height and 110 weight, with deep auburn hair and green eyes like emeralds. They were just as opposite when it came to personality, Keira you had to rile her up to get her mad, but John, he would be off at the drop of a hat. So it was surprising at how close they were, so when Keira was sent to BAaT when John was 12, he had been crushed, it was like he was losing his best friend – which in a respect he was. So John sent email and tried to contact Keira as much as he could, he found out just over a year ago that they had been blocked by the instructors at BAaT.

He had been disappointed when she hadn't come home after BAaT closed; instead entering into the Systems Alliance as soon as their parents had signed the waivers. He had understood her reluctance to return to Mindoir, she hadn't exactly left on the best of terms with their parents. When the guys from Conatix showed up to offer a spot in BAaT for Keira, their parents had jumped at the opportunity, having been afraid of Keira since her biotics had manifested.

Since BAaT closed, he had been able to reestablish communication with Keira, though she didn't get to talk much, they did email as often as they could. Most of her time was spent in training, he knew she was getting much better training with her biotics in the year she had been with the Alliance than the almost three years at BAaT, she was also receiving some tech training, and had applied for N training. He was proud of his sister, even if his parents wanted to pretend she didn't exist. So that was why after school he was down at the comm center instead of heading home, it was her birthday and he had made arrangements to call her on Arcturus.

Keira had taken a two week leave for her birthday, she was between sessions and still had not heard back on her N application, with the hope that she would be accepted, she had requested and received a two week leave between classes. So that found her in a small two bedroom apartment near the base waiting on her friend of four years, Kaidan Alenko.

After the incident at Jump Zero, the students had been sent home and discouraged from talking to each other. Keira wasn't much of a stickler when it came to rules like this, so she had stayed in contact with Kaidan and a few other members of her class from BAaT like Hendel Mitra, who had just been assigned after training so their contact was sparse.

Kaidan had been the more difficult person to keep up with, after being home for a few weeks, Kaidan had left home and kind of dropped off the grid for the time being. About eight months ago, Kaidan had shown up on Arcturus, knocking on Keira's apartment door. He had needed time away from everything to come to terms with what happened the year before. So she helped him find a job on the station and find an apartment, letting him stay with her until he was able to get his own place. Now they got together weekly for at least lunch, though they had plans for the week because of her birthday.

Keira's omnitool chimed softly with an incoming transmission, tapping a key lightly on the holographic interface, "Shepard," she spoke firmly.

"_Cadet Shepard, we have an incoming call for you at the comms room, it's from Mindoir."_

Keira arched an eyebrow, "Of course, thank you lieutenant, I'll be there shortly," she responded, standing up and grabbing her jacket.

When she stepped out of the apartment she ran into Kaidan, "Hey Kaid," she said, stepping aside to let him into the apartment. "I have to go take a comm, I'll be back shortly if you want to make yourself at home," she told him.

Kaidan hugged her on the way by, "I'll be here, mind if I grab something to eat?"

Keira shook her head, "Nah go ahead and help yourself," she said, returning the hug and pecking Kaidan on the cheek, "I shouldn't be long, it's probably John," she told him, turning and making her way down the alley to the academy. She went in through a side entrance closer to the comm room than the main entrance, flashing her badge to the guard as she walked through the door and headed down a corridor that would lead her to the comm.

Stepping into the partially dark room, she nodded to one of the operators and stepped over to one of the comm terminals and tapped the appropriate key, "Hey John," she said when the image appeared.

John stood at the terminal in the small colony comm center smiling at Keira, "Happy birthday KeKe," he replied to her greeting.

Keira smiled at the use of John's nickname for her, "Thanks John, but you shouldn't have done this, real time calls from the Traverse are expensive," she admonished her brother.

John chuckled, "I know, but I've been saving for this, figured for your birthday you deserved an actual call instead of the normal email or vidmail," he told her.

"I'm glad to hear from you John. How's everything going out there, any word of problems with raiders?"

John shook his head, "We haven't heard anything other than a couple of colonies have been hit, we figure that we are far enough into the Traverse to not be bothered," he explained.

Keira looked pensive, "I know John, I just worry about you out there, and you're still really close to Batarian space, so I just want you to be careful."

"We are KeKe. We're well within Alliance patrol routes, so I doubt the Batarians would chance it."

Keira sighed, "I know, I'm just being over cautious. Listen I want you to take care out there, I'm looking forward to you coming to visit me in a couple years. If you can get the folks to agree, you're always welcome to visit anytime."

John chuckled, "You know very well they aren't going to let me go out there, it's like you never even existed to them."

"I know John, that doesn't mean…" she started, cut off by the loud static.

John glanced over at the Tech, "What happened?"

The tech glanced over his panels, "I don't know John, it looks like all communications are down. I'll have to run some diagnostics. I'm sorry John," the tech told him.

John let out a sigh, "It's alright, I got to give her a birthday present, so I'll just shoot off a vidmail when things settle again."

Keira sighed, it wasn't the first time a connection to Mindoir went down, so while frustrating, she was wasn't worried. She walked back into her apartment to find Kaidan lying on her sofa, she smiled as she walked over and pulled a blanket off the back of the couch and covered him up. She knew from glancing at the table in front of the couch that he was suffering one of his migraines, keeping that in mind, she made sure the lights were down and settled down in one of the chairs across from the couch, picking up a data pad that had some stuff she needed to get ready for her next training session, starting in just over two weeks.

Keira hadn't realized she had dozed off until she felt a light touch on her shoulder, snapping awake in that way it seems only soldiers can do. "Kaidan," she said, calming down when she realized who it was. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

Kaidan shrugged, "Better now that I've had food, meds and a nap. Sorry I crashed on your birthday," he said.

Keira smiled at him, "Don't worry about it, I'm the last person to give you grief over the migraines," she replied, taking his hand and squeezing it.

Kaidan chuckled, "Very true, but I'm still sorry," he told her with a smile. She was right, if anyone understood the migraines it was Keira, already a sufferer before her implant, the L2 just making them that more frequent and that much worse. "So what was your call about?" he asked, turning to sit back on the couch.

Keira stood and stretched, settling down on the cushion next to Kaidan. "Just John wanting to wish me a happy birthday, unfortunately the comm cut out before we could talk much," she said.

"Well at least you go to talk to him a little bit, with the shaky way colonial comms are sometimes."

Keira nodded, "Yeah I know. Sometimes I wish he would stick to vid mails or email and not spend the money on the live calls."

Kaidan used their entwined hands to pull Keira against his chest. "Something else is bothering you, you're usually much more upbeat after talking to John," he said softly, his tone inquisitive.

Keira rested her head against his chest, sliding her arms around him as she thought for a moment. "I don't know something just doesn't feel right. I can't put my finger on it, guess I'll just have to wait and see," she replied, her voice muffled against Kaidan's shirt.

Kaidan raised his free hand under Keira's chin, lifting her head so he could look at her. "You shouldn't worry about it until it's something that you can do something about," he told her gently.

Keira smiled, "So what was your plan for this evening," she asked.

"Figured dinner and a movie, maybe hit a tavern…" he started to be interrupted by the door chime.

Keira frowned, "One sec," she told him, walking over and keying in a code to open the door. "Oh, Commander Anderson," she said quietly, her body immediately assuming the rigid stance of the soldier she was. "Sir, what brings you here," she asked.

Kaidan had walked over behind Keira, "I guess I'll go take a walk, I'll be…"

Lieutenant Commander David Anderson raised a hand, "If you're a friend you might want to stay, I have some news for Cadet Shepard," he explained.

Keira couldn't stop the eyebrow that raised up her forehead. "Sir?"

"May I come in Cadet?" Anderson asked.

Keira nodded, stepping back to allow the officer to enter the apartment.

Anderson stepped in, taking a cursory look around the room. "Cadet, you might want to sit for this," he told her apologetically.

Keira shook her head, "Sir if you're here to tell me I didn't get into the N program, I don't need to sit for that," she told him quietly.

Anderson had to smile at this, "No Cadet, actually on that front, you were accepted to the N program, starting as soon as your leave ends. Though I had intended on that being the next thing I told you. Again, I suggest you sit down Cadet," he told her again, indicating the couch.

Keira settled onto the couch, sitting on the edge of the seat. She didn't noticed that Kaidan had settled next to her, a look of worry on his face. "So Sir, give it to me straight please."

Anderson nodded, he had watched Shepard for her short time with the Alliance, knowing about her experience at BAaT and knew her to be a straight shooter. "After losing contact with Mindoir early this afternoon, an Alliance ship picked up a distress signal from the colony," he told her.

Keira took a deep breath, "I knew about the comms were down Sir, any news on what happened?"

Anderson sighed, catching a glimpse of the soldier this woman could become, "It seems the Batarians hit Mindoir early this afternoon. So far we haven't heard of any survivors," he told her. "I am sorry Shepard," he said softly.

Kaidan had moved closer to Keira, putting a hand lightly on her shoulder.

Keira took a deep breath, tears threatening, "So John…" she began.

Anderson nodded, "Presumed captured or dead," he answered the unspoken question. "As soon as the Einstein reports in with more information, I will be sure to relay it to you."

Keira nodded, "Thank you sir, if you find John's body, I would like to have him brought to Earth for burial," she told him quietly.

Anderson looked at the woman questioningly, "You wouldn't rather he be buried with your parents?"

Keira shook her head, "I have no parents Commander, just my brother John, and I would like to see him buried on Earth," she explained.

Anderson decided now was not the time to pry, "As you wish Cadet. You're leave has been extended to four weeks to give you time to make whatever arrangements you need to. Again I am sorry for your loss," he said, standing waiving Keira to remain seated. "I'll see myself out Cadet, feel free to contact me if you need anything," he told her, laying a card with his comm code on it on the coffee table before leaving the apartment.

Kaidan tapped the lock code for the door into his omnitool before reaching out and pulling Keira against him, "What can I do Keira?" he asked.

Keira felt the tears slipping from her eyes as she buried her face into the soft material of Kaidan's shirt. "Just stay, please," she whispered, almost begging.

Kaidan ran a hand lightly over her back, "I'm not going anywhere Keira," he told her, hugging her close, tugging her into his lap to hold her as close as he could.

Keira snuggled into Kaidan's arms, burying her face against his shoulder, letting the tears fall. "I can't believe it," she whispered. "John can't be gone."

Kaidan just held his friend, sitting quietly with her on his lap, running his hands up and down her back trying to sooth the pain she was feeling. "If he's half the fighter you are, he'll make it," he whispered continuing to rub her back.

Keira sniffled, "You think so?"

Kaidan smiled against Keira's hair, "Yeah I think so," he answered.

Keira curled further into Kaidan's embrace. "Thank you," she whispered.

Kaidan just settled back against the back of the couch, pulling Keira closer to him, just holding her and letting her get the grief out. After a long while, he noticed that her breathing had evened out. Sighing, Kaidan shifted gently, making sure not to wake Keira, as he stood with her still in his arms, taking her into her bedroom, settling her on her bed, he pulled off her shoes, tucking her under the covers. Kaidan quickly made his way back into the main room, grabbing a handful of protein bars before heading back into the bedroom. He set the bars down on the dresser before kicking of his shoes and pulling his shirt over his head and crawling into bed next to Keira, pulling her back against his chest and holding her close. Remembering all the times she had done the same for him after the incident with Vyrnnus. Glad to finally be able to begin repaying the gentle kindness she had shown him when others had shunned him.

Keira slowly swam up through the depths of sleep, her body instinctively snuggling into the warmth at her back. She was comfortable, she felt safe, secure, warm. She snuggled further back into the warmth holding onto the last vestiges of sleep until she felt something pressing against her lower back.

Kaidan woke up suddenly; Keira's wiggling creating pleasant if inappropriate responses within him as he felt his body reacting to the friction of her lower back and butt rubbing against him. "Keira," he whispered warningly, moving to disentangle himself from her.

Keira snapped fully awake, realizing what was pressing against her back. "Kaidan," she said quietly, blushing at the thought of what she had done.

Kaidan hushed her, moving back a bit to get some distance between them. "It's ok Keira," he told her quietly, his voice betraying a soft chuckle. They had been intimate a few times over the few months he had been on Arcturus, their friendship always leading them together when they needed someone. Just at this moment Kaidan didn't think it would be appropriate.

Keira rolled over on her back, "Sorry you had to put me to bed, I should have rea…"

Kaidan touched his finger to her lips, "You just heard that your home had been destroyed, your family either dead or Batarian slaves," he told her gently. "I think you reacted remarkably well," he finished, pulling her against his chest.

Keira laid her head against Kaidan's chest, one arm across his stomach, the other pinned between them. "I'm surprised I slept at all with all this on," she said quietly.

Kaidan smiled, "Well I figured you sleep was more important than waking you up to change clothes," he said lightly.

Keira sighed, her warm breath brushing lightly over his chest, made Kaidan wonder if it wouldn't have been a better idea to have been a little uncomfortable and kept his shirt on. Carefully Kaidan began to untangle himself from Keira.

Keira laid her hand on Kaidan's arm, "Please don't go yet," she whispered.

Kaidan groaned, "Keira…" he whispered.

Keira pulled lightly on his arm, "Please stay," she asked again, her eyes holding his.

With a deep sigh, Kaidan settled back on the bed, pulling Keira back against him. "You're going to kill me one of these days," he muttered under his breath.

Keira chuckled, "Somehow I don't think you'd mind going out that way," she said as she lightly ran her fingertips over the light dusting of hair that covered Kaidan's chest.

Kaidan growled, grabbing her hand to still it. "I don't think this is a good time Keira," he told her gently.

Keira let out a sigh, "Kaidan, you wouldn't be taking advantage, you know that," she whispered, as she began using her lips to trace lines on his chest.

Kaidan shifted both of them, resting his chest over hers, "Keira you just got news that would devastate anyone, of course I would be taking advantage if we did this," he tried to explain to her.

Keira shifted a leg against Kaidan's hip. "Maybe that's why it wouldn't be, maybe just maybe right now I need to feel alive, know I'm still here," she whispered.

Kaidan's resistance crumbled, his lips finding Keira's in a searing kiss, his hands letting her arms go as he ran his fingertips over her arms and down her sides, before breaking the kiss and meeting her emerald eyes with his caramel ones, "I want you to be absolutely sure Keira," he whispered. "You're my best friend, I can't lose you."

Keira moved her hand to the side of Kaidan's face, "I am sure, make me feel alive Kaidan," she whispered as she pulled his lips back to hers. "Please."

Kaidan gave in, his lips crushing against hers as his hands moved to the fastenings on Keira's shirt, pushing the material away, his fingers tracing the lines of muscle under the soft skin.

Keira wrapped her arms around Kaidan's back, pressing up against his warm chest, the soft hair tickling against her skin causing a soft moan, giving Kaidan the invitation he needed for his tongue to caress her lips and teeth, sliding into her warm mouth and tasting her, his tongue tangling with hers. Pulling away only to pull her up and push her shirt off her shoulders.

Kaidan looked down over Keira's exposed skin, pale from the time she had lived both on Jump Zero and later on Arcturus. Neither of them had time for relationships, Keira's training took almost all of her time, and Kaidan had just not really found anyone. They had first slept together while he was staying with her that first few weeks. When it hadn't seemed to have impacted their friendship, it just seemed that every so often they came together, something missing from each of them being filled by the other.

Keira watched Kaidan closely, her fingers lightly caressing the warm skin of his chest, enjoying the feeling of him under her fingertips. She loved the way he made her feel when he looked at her like this, as if she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. She ran one hand up to Kaidan's shoulder, using that hand to pull herself up and finish removing her shirt, tossing it on the floor next to the bed before reaching behind her to open the clasp that held her bra closed.

Kaidan reached out, stopping her with a light touch to her arm, his gentle caress teasing her arm from behind her back before sliding around and unhooking the clasp himself and slowly sliding the straps down over her shoulders and arms, before it landed on the floor next to her shirt. "Beautiful," he whispered, lowering his head to take one of her tightening nipples in his mouth, teasing it with his tongue and teeth, eliciting a whimper from her throat, a soft sound that went straight through his body to his groin.

Keira arched into the touch, as Kaidan's free hand cupped the neglected breast, rolling the tight flesh between his thumb and forefinger, pinching it at the same time as he lightly bit down on the flesh in his mouth. Keira's back bowed sharply, bringing her hips off the bed and pressing against Kaidan's, his erection pressed between them, eliciting a low groan from both of them. Kaidan pulled back, blowing a soft puff of air over the damp flesh he had just left, enjoying the sight of the shudder than ran through Keira.

Kaidan shifted, straddling Keira's hips, settling his weight on his knees as he ran his hands down over her firm stomach, tracing a scar that hadn't been there the last time they had been together.

Keira noticed his attention on the puckered flesh, the look of concern flashing across his face, "Training incident, fell onto a shard of metal when ducking into cover. It got between the plates on my armor," she told him, taking his hand and guiding it over the scar.

Kaidan nodded, he knew she was training for something few could ever hope to achieve, and he knew she would get hurt during that training. Shifting further back onto his heels, he lowered his head to trace the scar with his lips, reveling in the shiver he felt run through Keira's body. Now he followed the path his hands were taking down over Keira's abdomen until he reached the top of her pants, his nimble fingers making quick work of the button and zipper.

Keira shifted her hips allowing Kaidan to pull her pants and underwear over her hips and down her legs, standing at the foot of the bed to pull them off her body. Keira raised up on her elbows and watched as Kaidan pulled off his own pants and underwear, the sight of his aroused body making her breath quicken, the warm dampness between her legs increasing.

Kaidan gazed over Keira's body; it had been months since they had been together, Keira's training and Kaidan's job not meshing to allow them time together. This made the desire to take his time and treasure this moment. Kaidan lightly traced his hands slowly up Keira's legs, placing his knee on the edge of the bed to support his weight as he touched and caressed her body, brushing his fingertips lightly over the damp curls that covered her sex, the caress bringing even more beautiful noises from her throat as he watched her head roll back.

Kaidan knelt between Keira's thighs, pushing them apart to give him access to that most sensitive part of her, lowering his head, he nuzzled his nose into the coarse hair, inhaling Keira's unique scent before running his tongue along the edge of her sex, tasting the salty sweet flavor that was all Keira. He looked up Keira's body, back arched, hands clenching at the sheets of the bed, head against the pillow, short panting breaths escaping her lips. "Keira look at me," he whispered. Capturing her emerald gaze in his as he dipped his tongue into the sweet depths of her, finding and caressing the small bundle of nerves at the top of her sex causing her to cry out suddenly, her head falling back before she pulled it back to meet his eyes.

Kaidan slid one hand lower on her thigh, running his fingers along her wet lower lips, the slick wetness coating his fingers as he slid a finger slowly into her heated core, stopping to feel the muscles move around his finger before he began a slow thrusting motion, crooking the end of his finger when he reached the limit of her depths, each time pulling a soft cry from her. After several moments Kaidan slipped a second finger into the hot sheath, taking the small bundle of nerves between his lips and sucking it carefully as he curled both fingers against that spot deep within her, feeling Keira's body tense in preparation for the wave of ecstasy building within her. It only took another gentle pull on her clit at the same time he caressed her deeply with his fingers, and she was crying out his name, the sound causing his own arousal to ache, the need to bury himself deep within her almost overwhelming.

The control he had learned since Jump Zero was almost gone as he carefully moved his fingers and tongue over her as she rides out the wave of pleasure, only slipping his fingers from her as he feels her relax back into the bed. Slowly, torturously for him, Kaidan traces his way back up her body, the salty taste of Keira's sweat adding to the intoxicating taste of her skin, his tongue sweeping over first one taunt nipple then the other, his lips caressing her throat and jaw before possessing her lips once again as he settled between her thighs, the head of his throbbing erection pressing at her hot wet opening before he slid effortlessly into her depths. Their mouths swallowing the groans ripped from their throats as he filled her completely.

Keira's nails bit into Kaidan's shoulders as he started the slow dance of movement between them, the long slow strokes bordering on both pleasure and pain as they both felt the waves of pleasure moving through them, the desire to move faster against the other pushing them both forward, hips meeting in quick motion, each thrust harder than the last, deeper, each shifting of their hips changing angle just enough to increase the friction and pleasure between them.

Kaidan could feel his orgasm beginning to build low in his abdomen as he moved, watching each twitch Keira made, reveling in each small gasp, every tiny moan until he felt her entire body tense up again, the inner muscles surrounding his hard cock clenching tight as Keira once again was claimed by the waves of pleasure between them, this and the sound of his name in a growl from her throat pulled him over into ecstasy with her, her own name ripped from his throat as he buried himself as deeply as he could get inside of her heat as he spasmed within her.

As their breathing slowly returned to something resembling normal, Kaidan rolled to the side, pulling Keira against his chest once again and holding her tightly, his lips caressing across her forehead and hairline.

Keira nuzzled against Kaidan's neck, the words on the tip of her tongue, the words she had always known would change if not end their friendship, so she bites her lip to keep those words inside as she revels in the warmth of his body, the feel of his skin under her fingers as he holds her.

Kaidan noticed a change in Keira, something he would have missed had he not been holding onto her so tightly. "Keira," he whispered, "what is it?"

Keira smiled, looking up at Kaidan, "I'm just glad you're here, I don't know what I would have done if you weren't," she said.

Kaidan sighed and lifted his head to kiss her lips again, "I can't imagine being anywhere else right now."

Keira's smile brightened as she nuzzled once again into Kaidan's neck, just enjoying the feel of being in his arms.

Kaidan was in the shower when he heard the comm unit chime in the other room. He knew Keira was still out there getting dressed so he continued with his shower. He came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel to grab one of the sets of clothes he tended to leave at Keira's when he saw her sitting on the bed, head in hands crying. So instead, he walked over to her and sat down next to her pulling her against his chest. "They found John," he asked quietly, expecting the worst.

Keira nodded against Kaidan's chest, her hands dropping from her face to wrap around his waist. "He's alive Kaidan, they found him in some rubble near the comm station," she said quietly her voice breaking with the tears she was crying.

Kaidan reached down and tilted her face up, "That's a great thing Keira, how is he," he asked softly.

Keira sighed, "He got pretty beat up, apparently he was on his way home from the comm station when the attack came, he ended up under a bunch of debris when one of the buildings in town came down," she explained.

Kaidan nodded, "The rest of your family?"

Keira shook her head. "They found the bodies of our parents, the younger kids are missing. The Einstein is bringing John here," she told him, pulling back and wiping her eyes. "How am I going to take care of him Kaidan, I leave for N training in Rio in less than a month."

Kaidan pulled her back into a tight hug, "I bet my parents would love to have him stay, then he'd be on Earth for you to be able to visit when you get leave. It would also give him some stability to let him heal."

Keira looked up at Kaidan, "Do you think they would do that?"

Kaidan nodded, "Yeah I do, I'll give them a call after I get dressed. I'm sure they would be more than happy to let John stay with them. They know you're kind of responsible for the fact that I am still a sane and functional person," he finished, blushing slightly.

Keira smiled at him. "You would have come out fine on your own Kaidan, I just helped you along a bit," she told him, reaching out to caress his cheek. "The Einstein is due in soon. I'd like it if you would come with me," she said softly, her eyes dropping to the ground.

Kaidan took her hand and squeezed it, "Of course I will, we're still best friends aren't we?"

Keira nodded, "Always," she whispered.

Kaidan let go of her hand, "If we're going to head to the port, I should probably get dressed," he told her. "Given you haven't thrown out my clothes since the last time I stayed over."

This brought a chuckle from Keira, "No, they're in the same spot. Thank you for being here for me," she whispered, leaning up she lightly brushed his lips with hers before turning and leaving the room to let him dress.

Keira Shepard greeted Commander Anderson when they arrived at the port, "Commander, this is Kaidan Alenko, he is an old friend. I apologize for not introducing you yesterday," she explained quickly.

Anderson nodded to Kaidan, "Yesterday was a bit of a tough day for you, definitely nothing to be sorry for."

Keira's attention diverted to where an older Marine was coming off the gangplank from the Einstein. Next to him was her brother John, Keira moved before either of the men with her noticed the others approaching, she reached her brother and wrapped her arms around his waist, her head laying against his chest. "Oh John, I am so glad you're alright," she whispered, her eyes squeezed tight against the sting of the tears fighting to fall.

Kaidan watched the siblings, surprised at the difference between the two, John literally dwarfed his sister, and probably had another growth spurt in him. Though at that moment, it was John who looked dwarfed by his sister as he held onto her like a lifeline.

John Shepard held tightly to Keira, the last thing he had left in his life, "KeKe, I'm sorry I didn't save everyone," he whispered against her hair, his own tears falling into the short soft strands.

Keira looked up at her brother, "You did nothing wrong John, I am just so glad you are alright, come on I'll introduce you to a couple people and then we'll go back to my apartment and you can talk or sleep or whatever you want."

John nodded, his hand catching his sister's as they walked over to the two men standing off to the side, one wearing an Alliance officer's uniform with an N7 patch over the breast pocket, the other man was wearing a pair of jeans and a button down shirt.

Keira walked up to the men, "John, this is Lieutenant Commander Anderson, he has been my mentor throughout my training. He is also my sponsor for N training," she told her brother, introducing Anderson to him.

John nodded and took the offered hand but said nothing.

Keira turned her attention to the other man, "This is Kaidan Alenko, you remember me telling you about him from training before," she told him, trying to avoid mentioning BAaT or Jump Zero, since they weren't supposed to be in contact.

John nodded, "He's the one that you helped after the incident," he said.

Keira nodded, "Yeah he's my closest friend John."

Anderson watched the exchange quickly putting the pieces together. He knew a bit about what had happened on Jump Zero and the things Conatix had done, he had researched it extensively when he took Keira under his wing. He knew the kids were told not to contact one another, but wasn't surprised that Keira hadn't paid much attention to that detail. Nothing he needed to be involved in unless it affected her training.

Kaidan took John's hand, squeezing it comfortingly, "I'm sorry about what happened John, no one should have to go through that," he told the younger man.

Keira turned her attention back to Anderson, noticing for the first time the man standing next to him.

The man saluted Keira, "Lieutenant Zabaleta, I was on the ground team, I'm sorry we couldn't do more," he said softly.

Keira looked closely at the man before her, "I am sure you did everything you could Lieutenant, and I cannot thank you enough for bringing my brother back to me," she told him, extending her hand to him. "As far as I am concerned you will always be a friend of the Shepard family."

The man smiled, one that finally reached his eyes, "Thank you ma'am," he said.

Anderson clapped the lieutenant on the shoulder, "Let's let Keira get John back to her apartment Zabaleta, I think I might have an assignment that would be good for you," he told the lieutenant as they walked off.

Keira put her arm around John's waist, leading him away from the space port and toward her apartment, Kaidan following close behind. Kaidan moved ahead of them to enter the lock code into the door and let the siblings in. "I'll go grab us some food and give you guys time to talk," he said, turning and heading out of the apartment.

John looked around the room, eyes settling on a chair sitting near the couch. He walked over and settled down in the chair. "So he's the one huh," John said.

Keira sighed, "It's complicated John, he's my best friend and I'm not going to take that chance," she replied, settling down on the couch. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

John shook his head, "Honestly I really don't know, I was heading home from the comm station and there was an explosion, next thing I remember was Lieutenant Zabaleta pulling me out of the rubble."

Keira nodded reaching out to take John's hand and squeezed it. "I'm glad you made it John," she told her brother.

John looked down at their hands, "So N training huh," he asked.

Keira swallowed, "Yeah it starts in just under a month," she told him. "I'm not sending you into the system though. Kaidan's parents said you were welcome to stay with them, if you're not comfortable with that, then I'll just turn down the N training and finish my training here on Arcturus so I can take care of you."

John shook his head, "No you've fought hard for N training KeKe, I would never ask you to give that up for me. Besides, don't Kaidan's parents live in Vancouver?"

Keira nodded, "Yeah, Kaidan figured that would make it easier for us to see each other while I'm in training."

"Yeah that would be good KeKe. I think I would like to get some sleep," John said quietly.

Keira nodded, "Come on I'll show you to your room, take as much time as you need, I'll be here for you," she told him as she led him to the spare room.

When Kaidan came back, Keira was sitting on the couch alone, her face sad as she stared at the closed door to the second bedroom in the apartment. He set down the bag of food he brought in, "Everything ok?" he asked as he settled down next to her on the couch, putting his arm across her shoulders and pulling her against him.

"I guess it's as ok as it can be right now, he knows about your family, and seems ok with it, I'm just worried about him," she said softly laying her head against Kaidan's shoulder.

They said no more as they sat and ate the meal Kaidan had brought them, the two biotics eating more than share, but still saving some for John to eat. After they ate, and Keira put the leftovers away they settled down on the couch and turned on a vid, watching it quietly, Keira curling into Kaidan's side as they sat in silence. When John hadn't come out after a couple movies, Keira got up and checked on him, finding him sound asleep on the bed, the paths of tears streaking his cheeks in the dim light, Keira softly closed the door, her own tears falling as Kaidan walked up to her and wrapped her up into his arms.

"You could use some sleep too Keira," he told her quietly, gently leading her toward her own bedroom.

Keira shook her head, "I need to be here for him," she whispered.

"You will be here for him Keira, but you need rest," he told her pulling her through the door, he quickly pulled off her shirt and pants, nothing arousing about this time, she was in shock now, so he got her into the shirt she slept in. Realizing it was one of his for some reason pulled a smile to his lips as he settled her in bed, tucking the covers around her before turning to leave.

"Please stay," Keira whispered so quietly Kaidan almost didn't hear her.

Turning around he settled down next to her on the bed, "I'm just going to go out in the living room and grab my bag, I had no intention of leaving you unless you want me to," he told her.

Keira nodded, letting go of Kaidan's hand as he got up and walked out into the living room, grabbing his bag taking it back into the bedroom, he pulled out a battered pair of sleep pants and stepped into the bathroom so he wouldn't disturb Keira who had fallen asleep in the few minutes he was gone and changed into the sleep pants. As quietly as possible he walked around the bed and slid in behind Keira, once again wrapping her up in his arms and pulling her back against his chest, noticing her body relaxing into the warmth of his. He buried his nose in her hair as he inhaled the citrus scent of the shampoo she used, the soft scent underlined with her own scent teasing his nose as he fell asleep.

Kaidan woke up first, Keira still sound asleep curled against his chest. Carefully he disentangled himself from her without waking her up and made his way into the living area, finding John sitting at the table and eating the leftovers from the night before. "Heh, just like your sister with that," he said lightly as he walked over to the cabinet and pulled out a couple protein bars and a protein shake.

John watched the older man for a bit, his eyes following his movements until he sat down across from him at the table. "She loves you," he said quietly.

Kaidan looked up startled, "Huh?" he asked dumbfounded.

"Keira, she's been in love with you since she met you," John said, his tone quiet as he continued eating the food in front of him.

"I think you're mistaken John, we care about each other, we've been there for each other through a lot of nasty shit…"

John stopped eating and met Kaidan's eyes, "You ever wonder why she never shunned you after Vyrnnus? Why she was always there when you woke from a nightmare, or couldn't sleep? Why she took you into her home when you showed up on her doorstep like a lost puppy?" he asked his voice never going much above a whisper.

Kaidan thought about the things John said, his mind refusing to wrap around what he was saying.

"She would have stayed back and watched you and Rahna from a distance never telling you. She probably will still fight telling you until she has no choice. So I'll tell you now, if you don't want more than a casual fuck from my sister, you get your shit and you get the fuck out of her life," John finished sharply. Going right back to his eating as if he hadn't just threatened Kaidan.

"I…" he began.

John raised a hand, "I don't expect you to figure it out yet, you have time, she's going to be a long time in N training and we both know that. Gives you plenty of time to figure out what you feel about her."

Kaidan just stared at John, finally getting his wits about him to respond, "I care for Keira greatly, and never want to see her hurt," he whispered.

John smiled, "Good, because I'd hate to have to break you in half. So tell me about your folks and home, I'd like to know what I'm heading into?"


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Sorry for the delay in this chapter getting posted, but Real Life and I aren't getting along well at the moment. Would like to thank Kunari801 for taking the time to help out with beta'ing this story. I still own all mistakes. _

_Again Bioware/EA (fuckers) own Mass Effect and Kaidan._

* * *

Systems Alliance Operations Chief Kaidan Alenko made his way through the Mess Hall on Arcturus Station, glancing only occasionally at the news vids playing all over the room. Finally grabbing a tray and his food, Kaidan made his way to a table in a corner. Being a biotic tended to evoke either curiosity – which he had no desire to sate – or outright fear and suspicion, so most days he tended to keep to himself when not training or working. Glancing up he nodded to the tall dark haired man who approached his table, "John," he said before turning his attention back to his food.

2nd Lieutenant John Shepard, N4 Operative, survivor of Mindoir and younger brother to Kaidan's oldest friend settled down at the table, watching his longtime friend set to work on his food. "Damned Biotics, always with the best and most food," he teased before tearing into his own meal.

Kaidan chuckled, "Yeah well you go through the calories I do and you'd get a bunch of the good stuff too," he replied, "Though not really sure I'd call this the good stuff," he finished, lifting up a fork full of mystery meat and potatoes.

"At least you don't try to hide the need to devour everything in sight, unlike Keira," the younger man told him with a chuckle.

Kaidan laughed out right at this, "True, she does seem-"

_This is ANN special reporter Allison Jones with a breaking news story. Word from Alliance officials is that the colony of Akuze has been destroyed by unknown hostiles. The 37__th__ Marine squad, led by 1__st__ Lieutenant Keira Shepard was sent in to investigate. We have just received word, that in addition to the colonists, all but one of the marines have also perished. The identity of the survivor is being withheld pending family notifications._

_Again this is ANN Special Reporter…_

Kaidan watched the report in shock, "John-"

John looked down at his food, "I suddenly don't feel that hungry," he said, standing up.

Kaidan stood and put a hand on his friend's shoulder, "I'm sure it's her, I mean-" Kaidan's voice broke. Last time he had really talked to Keira things had been tense to say the least.

* * *

_2172 Vancouver_

_Kaidan walked into the apartment he had rented with the Shepard siblings two years ago, forgetting that Keira would be in residence for John's graduation, he nearly tripped over her seabag left in the middle of the floor before he noticed it. "Damnit," he swore._

_Keira walked out of the bathroom in a pair of shorts and a SpecOps shirt, "Sorry Kaidan, didn't realize you'd be back this early. John said you were visiting your parents," she replied, walking over and picking up the bag._

_Kaidan shook his head, "Don't worry about it Keira, I forgot you'd be here. Just give me a bit to grab some stuff and I'll stay with my parents this week," he said as he headed toward his bedroom._

_She stopped, turning to face him, "So it's not just my imagination, you are avoiding me," she said softly._

_Stopping in his tracks he faced her, "Keira…" he started._

_She glared at him. "My fucking brother can't seem to keep his damned mouth shut and has to act the protector and I lose my best fucking friend… beautiful," she almost screamed._

_Taking a deep breath, Kaidan ran his hand over his face, "Keira, he only wanted to protect you, and he was right," he tried to explain. "I would have hurt you worse because I didn't see it, I never wanted that Keira," he whispered._

"_You know what, FUCK YOU Kaidan Alenko. I have been in love with you since I met you, but have I ever let it hurt our friendship?" she demanded._

"_You were hoping for something that wasn't there, I'm sorry Keir…"_

_She walked right up to Kaidan and before he could finish his statement she punched him hard. "I was never hoping for anything other than your friendship you stupid fuck," she whispered, walking away from him._

"_Keira…"_

_She didn't turn around, walking into John's room with her bag and slamming the door._

_Kaidan stared at the closed door, something inside aching from the loss. Turning he continued into his room, absently rubbing the spot on his jaw where Keira's fist had connected._

* * *

Kaidan closed his eyes as he came back to the present, hand still on John's shoulder and that same ache back in his chest. He and Keira talked on occasion when duty required, but their relationship had become cool at best since that day. _It was for the best, for both of us,_ he thought to himself sadly.

John shook himself, "Yeah she is a tough one – N5 last session – so yeah I'm sure she's just fine," he said quietly, pulling away from Kaidan, "You want me to let you know if I hear anything?"

Kaidan looked startled at the question, "Yeah, of course," he replied wondering why he even thought to ask the question.

John nodded, "I just… the two of you seem to have drifted apart since-"

He glanced up at the younger man, "I still care John, it was just better to put some distance between us," he told him.

Shaking his head, John met Kaidan's gaze. "That's bullshit and you know it, and right now it's eating you alive not knowing," he said, reading right through to Kaidan's soul.

Kaidan sighed, "John, things are more complicated than that and you know it," he said. "You're right though, it will drive me crazy until I know, because despite all of this I still care about her."

John closed his eyes, his emotions warring within him; between protecting his sister and keeping her secrets. "You know, it broke her heart every time you wouldn't talk to her. Knowing you were with other women or men never fazed her, but that you wouldn't talk to her unless duty required it," his hard eyes holding Kaidan's. "That broke her heart," he whispered.

"John-"

"She still loves you, with all her heart –I really have no fucking clue why. But more than that, she misses her friend," he told him shortly, poking Kaidan's chest with his finger. "I should have broken you," he finished darkly before he walked away, leaving Kaidan standing by the table alone.

Sitting down a lot of things hit Kaidan at once, he really did care for Keira, more than as a friend, followed immediately by the fact that he just may have lost her for good. The ache in his chest became more insistent and deeper at that thought.

* * *

1st Lieutenant Keira Shepard woke up in stages, each one a bit more painful than the last. She remembered touching down on Akuze with her squadron, she remembered giving the orders to check the area; at that point everything became a jumble of screams and pain.

Seeing each of the men and women under her command fall either to the monsters themselves or to the searing acid as it ate its way through their armor and skin, her own screams as it ate through her shoulder guards and greaves, barely managing to get the chest plate off before the acid managed to eat through to her skin.

She remembered setting the distress signal just before she collapsed in one of the housing units, thinking she would never wake again.

Now she was awake, glancing around the med bay of the SSV Shanghai, she took stock of her injuries. Both legs were wrapped in medigel bandages, right arm in a brace, left shoulder bandaged and – she stretched – yep stitches so probably had surgery again, wondered if it had been the rotator cuff or something else this time. Her right eye was covered, she seemed to remember getting some splash in her face, and hopefully it missed the eye.

"So finally awake Lieutenant Shepard," a quiet voice, that of the doctor inquired. "Doctor Karin Chakwas, you're on the SSV Shanghai."

Keira glanced at the doctor, "Thanks, so what's the damage," she asked.

Chakwas glanced at the datapad in her hand, "Severe acid burns on both legs and above your right eye – not sure how it missed your eye but it did. Then you broke your right arm and tore the rotator cuff in your left shoulder. We were able to repair the rotator cuff completely; the burns and broken bones we are letting heal normally."

"So how long will I be out?"

"Physically about three weeks, psychologically will depend on the psychologists and command," came the reply not from the doctor but from the deep voice of Staff Commander David Anderson. "Though if I had to hazard a guess, I'd say six to eight months."

"Sir, I am up for return to N training to get my 6 rating next month," she objected.

Anderson held up a hand, "You aren't going to lose your spot Shepard, just might have to delay it a bit," he told her. "From what we saw down there, it looks like you should have gone in with a full ship not just a squadron of Marines."

"Is that your way of asking me for a report Staff Commander?"

Anderson shook his head, "No, I am sure you'll file your report as soon as the doc lets you near a terminal. It was more asking for an informal brief."

Keira laid her head against the pillows on the medical bed, taking a deep breath, she thought back. "We got a report of the colony going off the grid, fearing raiders, we headed in immediately, hoping to catch them in the act and stop them. When we hit the dirt, we could see that something was very wrong with the situation. It was like the colony was completely abandoned, not like any of the other colonies hit by raiders," she started, her mind replaying the entire incident.

* * *

_Keira hit the dirt first, though a biotic she was still well respected by her squadron, she was an N5 – something command didn't just hand out to anyone - and well decorated already. Glancing around she motioned the squadron to break into their pre-assigned teams, indicating which groups should check which areas. Taking stock of her team she nodded and the group made for the communications building across the compound. _

_It had been sheer luck that her squadron had been on the SSV Hong Kong at the time, having just been picked up from an op when the information came in from Alliance Command, the Hong Kong being the closest patrol to Akuze, Shepard had volunteered her squadron and taken them down to Akuze, hoping against hope it was all just a messed up comm station, fearing they had missed raiders, never expecting what they found._

_She and her team had no sooner reached the communications building than the entire mission went FUBAR. She heard the assault rifle shots causing her and her team to dodge into cover outside the building, she quickly took stock of the situation. "Toombs, I want you in that shack and getting comms back up," she ordered, glancing back at the Corporal, she tried to make a point of getting to know all her team, the squad on the other hand tended to get out of hand, especially since she spent about six months in N training after every tour._

_Toombs nodded, powering up his omnitool and moving quickly from cover to cover before finally reaching the door. He hacked the controls efficiently and entered the room, glancing around. "LT there's no damage here, the comms should be up," he told Keira over the team frequency._

_Keira arched an eyebrow at Davis across the way, "Can you get a message to the Hong Kong to get us out of here?"_

"_Seems Hong Kong is out of range LT, they were heading to check another signal after dropping us off," he replied._

_Keira cursed under her breath, "Alright Toombs, let's see what the hell is happening." She quickly switched to the squadron frequency, "All team leaders SitRep now," she called quickly._

"_Martinez here LT, we are pinned down near one of the housing units, attackers unknown creatures, came up out of the ground," came the first report._

_Martinez' report was quickly followed with similar reports by the other team leaders. "Alright let's get this by the book, I want covering fire as each team moves toward the communications building, so by the numbers ladies," she told them._

_Keira moved from where she was, quickly making her way to a building further out from the one where Toombs and Davis were, she would make sure the squadron got to cover then she would bring up the rear guard. They would camp in the building until the Hong Kong came back for them the next day._

_She was barely set to start cover fire, when she began hearing the screams. "SitRep NOW," she screamed into the comms._

_Martinez was the only one to answer, "SNAFU LT, I've lost my team, and it looks like several other teams are down as well. These things come up from underground and they are spitting some kind of acid that eats right through armor."_

"_FUCK," Keira screamed, quickly clicking over to the team channel, "Davis, Toombs get out here, we're going to need more cover fire, and bring out your grenades Davis," she told the men._

* * *

"After that point it all becomes a haze, last thing I remember before getting into the housing module was the monsters dragging Toombs under. I took a direct frontal hit from the acid before I managed to get into the habitat. I set the distress signal and blacked out," she finished quietly.

Anderson sat quietly, contemplating the report. "Well we do have a name for them now, based on reports from the Council, they are called Thresher Maws. Rather nasty and stubborn species, they can survive in vacuum as spores and just drop onto any planet and thrive," he told her.

"Would have been nice to know that before now, you know so we could look for them before we put a colony on a nest," she replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Really wish the Council would figure out if they are helping us or trying to wipe us out."

"Well to be fair, they really can't be expected to remember every threat on every planet out there to warn us of," he replied lightly.

"They could damned well tell us about a species that eats people, spits acid and lives underground like a grabboid from that old vid. Oh and it can go from planet to planet as a spore on a ship in vacuum and has no limit to where it can live. Yeah I can see how that would be a hard one to remember."

Anderson put up a hand, "Calm down Shepard, you're preaching to the choir here," he told her.

Keira took a breath to calm down, "Yes sir," she replied. "So where are we headed to?"

"Arcturus, they are best set up to handle the investigation," he told her.

"Sir, I did everything by the numbers," she protested.

"I know you did Shepard, that's not in question. It's SOP and you know it," he said, trying to calm her down again.

"Have you talked to John?"

"No, not yet, we wanted to be able to say more than yeah she's alive but we don't know anything else."

Keira sighed, "I need to contact families," she whispered, the impact of losing her entire squadron hitting her out of left field.

"It's being handled Shepard, only thing you need to do is get over your injuries, I'll give John a comm when I leave here, and I'm sure the doc will let you contact him as soon as she clears you to leave medical."

Nodding, Keira glanced around, "Yeah, do you know if-"

Anderson shook his head, "No, Operations Chief Alenko is on Arcturus on a TDY, however, what he has heard, I don't know right now."

"Thanks," she replied, closing her eyes.

"I'll let you rest now Shepard, you'll pull through this," he said quietly, placing a hand on her uninjured shoulder and squeezing.

"Thank you sir," she responded.

* * *

Kaidan had just settled down for the night when his omnitool pinged. Growling he tapped the code and opened the channel, "Alenko."

"_Kaidan, it's John, just got news."_

That caused Kaidan to sit up, "And," he asked softly.

"_She's alive and will be on Arcturus within the day. She's pretty banged up, but she got out."_

Kaidan let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "OK, well-"

"_Damnit Kaidan, quit this shit, the Shanghai is due in about 1500 tomorrow, be there-"_

Kaidan closed his eyes, "John it's-"

"_Bullshit it's not that simple, get your ass down there and you two figure out your friendship or I swear to the gods that I will break you in half. She almost died down there, don't be stupid anymore."_

The line cut out before Kaidan could respond. "FUCK!" he said to the empty room, he knew John was right, even if he didn't want to admit it. It didn't help that he was off duty for the next forty eight hours either, and if he knew John – and he did – John knew it and would end up dragging him to see Keira one way or another.

* * *

At 1445, John Shepard was standing in the docking area of Arcturus reserved for military vessels only, watching as the SSV Shanghai was finishing up docking procedures. He was reaching a boiling point with Kaidan and Keira; they had been friends for years, before Kaidan decided to be an ass about the fact that Keira's feelings weren't quite innocent toward him. OK Hell the woman was in love with her best friend, wasn't the first time in history it had happened, and wouldn't be the last.

She was his sister though, and he wanted to make sure no one else hurt her the way their family had when they found out about her biotics. So here he stood fuming that Kaidan hadn't shown, and thinking of the different things he could do to break him in half without actually putting the other Marine out of commission. Glancing around, his jaw dropped when he saw him walk in through the entry. "Thought I was going to have to SpecOps on your ass Kaidan," he said as the older man walked up to where he stood.

Kaidan shook his head, "Yeah well we can't have that, now can we," he replied.

John opened his mouth to reply when he heard the airlock cycle open, Staff Commander David Anderson stepped out of the airlock supporting Keira still bandaged and looking even smaller than her 5'2". "Keira," he whispered as he walked slowly up to his sister and gently pulled her against him.

Anderson was always amazed at how gentle the younger Shepard was with his sister. Given the reports he saw on John's activities, the young man was a no holds barred kind of soldier, which solidly balanced against Keira's more logical and thought out approach to things, John tended to act without thinking. Knowing his record, Anderson was always surprised at how different he was with Keira as opposed to anyone else or in the field.

Kaidan was more used to John's attitude and behavior around his sister, but he still caught the look Anderson gave the siblings. They really were total opposites, John tall and bulky, Keira short and petite, John dark, Keira light.

Anderson walked over to Kaidan, "It doesn't make much sense does it," he said to the younger man.

Kaidan couldn't help the chuckle, "Just need to get to know them both as siblings. Their backgrounds are every bit as different as their personalities, but they have always been close."

Anderson nodded, "I have followed both their careers, they have a lot of potential between them. So I hear you are heading in for N3 in a few months."

Kaidan glanced up in surprise, "Yes sir, on TDY until my slot comes up, so a lot of paper pushing right now," he replied.

"Relax Chief, I follow all N candidates and operatives. Just because I only recommend some of them, doesn't mean I don't keep an eye on all of them," Anderson told him. "I'll leave you and John to get her where she needs to go," he told Kaidan before walking off in the direction of HQ.

* * *

Keira had grudgingly allowed Anderson to help her off the ship, it had been that or a wheel chair and hell would freeze over, all seven levels of Dante's Inferno, before she went anywhere in a wheel chair. So here she stood in the docking area of Alliance HQ on Arcturus with Anderson, leaning heavily on her mentor and superior. It was damned embarrassing, though not nearly as much as the way John had come up to her and hugged her. She was a soldier not some fragile doll who needed to be treated carefully.

"John, I'm an N, you don't need to baby me," she told him as she hugged him back.

"Don't care Keke, you scared the hell out of me, and if I want to treat you like china I will," he replied, carefully picking her up.

"John put me the hell down, I will walk out of here," she demanded.

"I don't think you're in much of a position to demand anything."

"I will beat the shit out of you if you don't put me down John Stephen Shepard."

Kaidan laughed at that, "She's using your middle name John, you better put her down before you get hurt."

"Bah, you're no fun, why did I invite you again?"

Kaidan almost doubled over laughing, "Invite? I seem to remember it being more along the lines of 'you be there or I kill you'."

Keira hit John, "Put me down John, now," she said, her command voice falling into place.

John knew when he pushed too far, and gently settled Keira on her feet, "Sorry Keke, I just-"

She hit him with a biotic push, slamming him down on his ass, "You listen to me John Shepard, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, and if Kaidan has other things to do than stand here where he doesn't want to be then leave him the hell to it," she all but shouted, before turning to stalk off, only to have her legs give out under her.

Kaidan had moved before it even registered she was falling, his arms wrapping around her waist to support her, "You OK Keira," he asked.

"Yeah, just got ahead of myself," she replied, her hands on his shoulders, she pushed back. "I'm fine now."

Shaking his head, Kaidan shifted her around, settling an arm around his shoulders, his still around her waist, "I am willing to put money on the fact that you weren't supposed to walk off that ship."

Keira blushed, "Am I that predictable?"

"No, we just know you," John replied as he moved to her opposite side, sliding his own arm around her waist careful not to bump the arm in the brace. "You don't have to be strong with us."

"He's right Keira, we know you're human."

"I'm not supposed to be human remember, I'm supposed to be among the best and the brightest and the strongest," she retorted, "I'm not supposed to be weak," she finished in a whisper.

John moved, kneeling down in front of his sister, "Keke, I love you, I of all people know how strong you are, just let me be here for you from time to time."

Kaidan felt Keira tense, "What happens when you're not there?"

"We'll always be here Keira," he replied to her question.

Keira turned her eyes to him, "You've already left me once Kaidan," she said, her voice emotionless.

Sighing Kaidan turned her to face him, both hands on her waist supporting her light weight against his body. "I was trying to protect you Keira, I was wrong," he answered her unspoken question. "Now let John carry you up to medical, we'll get everything looked at and head back to quarters," he told her softly.

Keira stared for several moments before nodding, allowing her brother to pick her up again, "Sorry I hit you John," she said quietly.

"It's alright Keke, I understand."

* * *

Kaidan sat in the room Keira had been assigned in officer housing, due to the nature of her injuries as well as everything going on surrounding the investigation into the incident on Akuze she had been assigned a room on her own, which allowed he and John to be there most of the time. Right now he was sitting outside the head while she took a shower, in case she needed assistance, which she never did, but with her injuries you never knew.

He glanced up when the door opened, and Keira made her way out of the head, her hair still wet and slicked back wearing the same shorts and shirt she had been wearing five years ago. "I owe you so many apologies Keira," he said before he even thought about it.

She stopped, dropping the towel in her hands to the desk before settling down on the bed, "Yeah well shit happens, we're both Marines we know this more than anyone," she replied.

"Just listen please," he begged, kneeling on the floor in front of her. "I let my own fears dictate what I did when I found out how you felt. I never even considered the fact that these weren't new emotions to you and yet we were still the best of friends. I am so sorry I did that, I was wrong and I was an idiot. The thought of you dying on Akuze…" he dropped off with a shudder.

Keira took a deep shuddering breath, "What exactly are you saying Kaidan?" she asked, "No way out this time, just the truth."

Kaidan couldn't stop the chuckle; leave it to Keira to remember his desire to leave a way out of everything. "No way out, I care a lot for you. I can't say I'm in love with you but I know it's deeper than anything I felt for Rahna," he replied quietly.

Keira reached out, tracing the rough surface of his jaw with the backs of her fingers. "Let's go with that, see if we can't be friends again, and go from there," she whispered.

"I'd like that a lot Keira," he replied.


End file.
